[ DOORBELL BUZZING ]
>> WHAT IS IT?
>> HELLO?
WE'RE LOOKING TO BUY A ROOSTER
THAT CAN PLAY "MAGIC: THE
GATHERING."
>> NEVER HEARD OF COCK MAGIC OR
ROOSTERS!
>> UH, WE AREN'T COPS OR
ANYTHING.
[ DOOR BUZZES ]
>> COME ON IN THE BACK.
DON'T MIND THE SMELL.
WE ONLY DEAL IN THE HIGHEST
QUALITY POULTRY PLANESWALKERS.
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A NEW
HAMPSHIRE OR A CORNISH BREED?
>> WE DON'T...REALLY KNOW THE
DIFFERENCE.
>> WELL, YOUR NEW HAMPSHIRE
BROILER CHICKENS ARE THE BEST
FOR WHITE MANA.
THESE HERE HAVE BEEN RAISED TO
PLAY MOSTLY PROTECTION SPELLS
AND DO WELL WITH SORCERY CARDS.
AND HERE YOU GOT YOUR GREEN MANA
NECROMANCERS -- LOTS OF EARTHY
GROWTH AND HINDERING
INCANTATIONS THAT ARE GOOD
AGAINST BLUE- OR BLACK-STACKED
DECKS.
>> YOU THINK THEY'RE HAPPY?
>> DO I THINK THEY'RE HAPPY?
>> YEAH. LIKE, YOU THINK THEY
MIND BEING MADE TO PLAY "MAGIC:
THE GATHERING"?
>> THEY'RE [BLEEP] CHICKENS.
>> WELL, OUR FRIEND HERE HAS
SOME ANIMAL-RIGHTS CONCERNS.
YOU HAVE ANY FREE-RANGE
CHICKENS?
>> FREE-RANGE CHICKENS ARE
PRIMARILY CONTROL-DECK PLAYERS
THAT SLOW THE GAME DOWN WITH
BOARD-CONTROL CARDS.
>> OH, SCREW THE FREE-RANGE
CHICKENS, HUH, KENNY?
>> HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS LITTLE
GUY?
>> THAT ONE'S KIND OF YOUNG.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT KIND OF
CARDS HE PREFERS.
>> THEN HE'S PERFECT FOR US.
>> WHAT SHOULD WE NAME HIM,
KENNY?
I KNOW.
HOW ABOUT McNUGGETS?
>> HEY, McNUGGETS.
YOU WANT TO COME PLAY FOR US?
>> [ Deep voice ] "YES, I DO,
YOU GUYS."
OH, WOW.
DID YOU HEAR HIM, KENNY?
Screw the Free Range Chickens
Piep-Hahn-Magic s18e08
The boys visit a chicken farm and pick out their own Magic rooster.

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