[ Bell ringsand indistinct chatter ]
[ Thumping ]
PC PRINCIPAL:[ Muffled ] Who was it?!
Somebody's about to gettheir asses kicked!
[ Children screaming ]
When I find outwho did this...
PC Principal is on the warpath!Run for your lives!
Oh, Jesus.Now what?
Who was it, huh?!
Somebody better fess upright now!
I'm gonna find outwho did this!
Was it you?
Was what me, sir?
I just saw a copyof the school newspaper
in which a studentused the word "retarded"
to refer to our cafeterialunch policy.
The word retarded does notbelong in our school!
Who is in chargeof the school paper?!
'Cause I'm about to breaktheir [bleep] legs!
Uh, he's in chargeof the school paper.
You gonna break his legs,PC Principal?
All right, uh, I-I guesswe haven't formally met before.
Uh, the reasonI need to talk with you, Jason,
is because ofa very important --
It's Jimmy, actually.My name is Jimmy, PC Principal.
All right, Jim,thank you.
I want to talk to you todayabout the use of the "R" word
in your school paper.
You see, the "R" wordis very bad.
Says me, all right?
And I know a thing or two
about the rights of peoplewith disabilities.
When you use the "R" wordto describe
the school's lunch policy,it can hurt people's hearts.
Can you understand that at all?
That was an Op-Ed piecein the paper
written by a first grader
who found the school lunchpolicy to be ridiculous,
and he thought "r-retarded" tobe the best word to describe it.
As the editor of the paper,I didn't think it was right
to censor the wordsthe student used.
Okay, well, from now on,I'm gonna need to approve
the school paper beforeyou hand it out, okay?
What'd you say?
You're new here,so you don't understand
how seriously I take my jobas editor of the school paper.
I don't allow ads,and I don't allow anything
that might t-t-taint the truthbehind what people are thinking.
I don't want peopleto be afraid of words
if it stops themfrom having a dialogue.
Look, I don't wantto get angry, okay?
Why? Are you uncomfortablearound people with disabilities?
That's okay.Lots of people are.
No, I'm not!I am very not uncomfortable.
All right, look --unless I can approve your paper,
it is not being distributedon campus. You got that?
I can't hand outthe school paper in school?
Not unless it is approved by me.Do you understand?
Yep. Got it.
[ Tires squeak ]
Don't forget to readthe school paper,
now delivered directlyto your door!
[ Tires squeak ]
Super School News!
What is that, bro?
S-S-S-S-Suck my dick,PC Principal!
[ Breathing heavily ]
Who does this kid think he is,challenging me?
I said one microaggressionto him, okay?
One little microaggression,but that doesn't mean
I have an unconscious bias
towards peoplewith disabilities!
No way, bro.That's whack!
But why would a personwith a disability not see
that what I'm trying to dois actually protect them?
Sometimes victims of oppressionare so marginalized
that they begin to sympathizewith their oppressors.
This kid just needs to be shownhe's being an Uncle Able.
I can also count on my PCfrat brothers to have my back.
Let's go, PC!
ALL: PC! Whoo!
Wow, this isso great.
Have you ever read
the elementary-schoolnewspaper, Linda?
There's no ads,no sponsored content,
no links to click on,
just news storiesabout what's happening.
Did you knowthat the police in ShiTpaTown
beat up homelessto clear them out?
Do you knowhow long its been
since I was able to justsit back and read the news?
I got so used to getting newsoff the Internet,
but I feel likeI'm always trying
to chase the news,somehow.
It's likeI'm in a black void
trying to reachthe news story.
But thenthe next thing I know,
I'm reading and adfor GEICO,
so I click out of thatand try to read the news story,
but it's not a news story,it's a slide show,
and I'm lookingat the worst
celebrity plastic-surgeryjobs ever.
So, of course,I want to see the next slide
of plastic surgery gone wrong,so I hit the arrow.
But then the arrow wasn'tthe arrow for the next slide,
it was to take me for an adfor face cream.
I wantedto get a news story,
but I'm readingabout face cream,
and I try to click out of it,but the ad is following me.
It's -- It's following meall over the screen!
So, I clickon the "close" button,
but it wasn't a "close" button,it was another slide show.
And I just want to knowwhat's happening
in the Middle East,but instead,
I'm looking at the top 10scariest movies of all time.
And that's not the arrowfor the next slide,
it's for another ad!
But this --This is just news.
And I don't get lostin all the bullshit.
I know you've been tryingto get your head around
some of the social issueswe discussed yesterday.
I'm sure you're feeling confusedand a little unsure of yourself.
I'm not confused at all,actually, PC Principal.
Okay, well, no,you are confused...
I'm pretty sure you're the onethat's confused, but go ahead.
...'cause you don't graspthe severity of this.
And that's why I've brought in
another young personwith disabilities
to share his feelings.
Thanks for coming into talk to us, Nathan.
I like applesand bananas.
Me, too, bro.Me, too.
Nathan, could you tell Jimmyhow you feel
when people usethe word "retarded?"
It hurts my feelingsbecause I feel bad.
Are you seriousright now?
You feel bad. Right.
You feel likethat's a no-no word, right?
That word makes my heartpiss its pants.
Okay, wow.That's pretty heavy.
Pretty heavy, huh, Jim?
Do you want to ask himwhat he means by that,
or are you just pandering
because you're uncomfortablearound disabled people?
I am not uncomfortable!
I simply care about a horrible,outdated word
that is exclusive,ignores individuality,
and equates intellectualdisability with being --
and it -- and it -- Spot!I need a spotter!
Spot me!Somebody spot me, bro!
And it's -- it's partof a derogatory hate speech
which fosters isolationand loneliness,
and being part of a voiceto stop the "R" word
is not only right,but extremely important!
I'm afraid of bears.
Hey, Nathan.Hold up.
What were you doingin there?
What do you mean, Jimmy?Are you mad?
Come on, Nathan.
You and I both know
you use the word retarded400 times a day.
So righteous, aren't you?
So blind to everythingthat's going on.
What are you talking about?
You really think all the changeshappening to this town
are just coincidence?
This goes so much deeper thanyou can possibly imagine, Jim.
Everyone's about to learnthe truth,
and then...there's a war coming.
A war, Jim.
And I'm just gonna make sureI'm on the right side of it.
Come on, boys.Let's get back to class.
I like to smell trees!
as more and more people say noto news on the Internet.
I read Super School News'cause it don't try and fool me,
and its news reports aren'tpaid for by ad companies.
We just feel likethis is actual news,
and instead of clickingon links, we're reading stories.
I had to get away from the ads.
I felt that the ads were...evolving, somehow.
They started knowing whatI liked, what I was afraid of.
I tried ad blockers,but it seemed like every time
I tried to block the ads,they just got smarter.
I'm never going backfrom Super School News.
The young editorof the paper claims
that since most people now watchnews reports on the Internet,
they're easily distractedor even fooled by ads,
which are finding more and moreclever ways...Ooh, brutalcelebrity mug shots.
...to disguise them --
Mm, next slide.
Oh, it got me.
Ad got me, Sharon.
Our next question is for you,Mrs. Clinton.
Many voters believethat Syrian refugees should not
be allowed into our countryfor security reasons.
What do you think?
Keeping our country safe hasbecome more and more difficult,
but I believe there areseveral things --
No! You shut the hell up!
You've got a dumpy buttand seven chins.
Syrian refugeesare all terrorists!
I knowthat our government
needs to takea harder look at all --
Yeah, well, it's pretty hardto look at you.
We can all agreeon that.
She looks like a donkey tooka shit on her face.
[ Chuckles ]Yeah, good one, Caitlyn.
See, what I know isthat there's only one way
to deal with Syrian refugees,and that is...
ALL:[Bleep] them all to death!
[ Both laughing ]
That was hilarious whenyou called her a pizza face.
It's like a Papa John'spimple party.
Oh, that wasclassic, Caitlyn.
You're the bestrunning mate ever.
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA:Hello, Mr. Garrison.
Oh, my God.
Congratulations on the polls.
We need to talk.
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
Let's go, PC!
All right, everyone.Listen up.
Tonight's a very special nightfor the PCs.
We're honoredto be throwing this event
for people with disabilities.
I, for one, am sickof how these amazing kids
are marginalizedin today's society,
but tonight is about learningand healing.
So, let's get to it! PC!
[ Cheering ]
Hey, guys. I'm Brad.I'm PC Arizona State.
Nice to meet you, Brad.Where do you --
Uh, excuse me a second.Hello, ladies.
Thanks for comingto our event.
We're just tiredof the way
people with disabilitiesget treated.
Can I get yousome alcohol?
Yeah, you know, it just bugs mewhen people refer
to persons with disabilitiesas handicapped.
When I hear that word,
I want to [bleep] punch themin the [bleep] face.
That's so coolof you. Wow.
Yeah, to be marginalizingpersons with disabilities
by asking themwhat their handicap is
is a microaggression no betterthan asking a person of color
if they wentto college.
Wow. You'rereally progressive.
No other way to be.
So, uh, listen, I think you'rereally pretty and interesting,
and I'd kind of liketo take you upstairs
and totally crushyour pussy.
Would that be acceptableto you?
Oh. [ Chuckles ]Well, I-I guess it would.
No, I'm sorry.I need affirmative consent.
I'll need you to say,"Yes, you may take me upstairs
and crush my pussyat this time."
McKenzie,you got consent forms?
Oh, yeah.Right here, bro.
Rise and shine, guys.
If you scored last night,I need your consent forms.
Thank you.Thank you.
Thank you. Whoa, Barker,did you perform cunnilingus?
There's a differentrelease form, bro.
Yeah, uh, s-sorry.It's right here.
Oh, dude! Bro!
Dude, I scoredwith this female,
and after consenting toputting her mouth on my penis,
she wanted meto walk her home.Yeah?
And when I got to her house,
she had me meet her father,who is Filipino.
So, I asked himif he could tell me about
the cultural and social dynamicsof being a Filipino American.Naturally.
So, he said some stuff,
and then a newspaper landson his doorstep,
'cause I guessher dad subscribes
to this school newspaper,
and he picked it up, and I sawthe headline said this!
What the [bleep]is this, bro?!
Bro, that little kid wrotethat our tolerant views
and fightfor social justice
is just a way for usto crush puss!
But that's not true!
I know, bro!We're being totally victimized!
That little [bleep] dude!
for the South Park Super School News?
We would liketo give you $26 million.
[ Dramatic music plays ]
[ Latches click ]
Contractsand the first check.
We'd love to be in businesswith you.
What is this for?
I represent an organizationcalled GEICO.
It's an insurance company.
We think Super School Newswould be a great way
for us to reach new customers.
Sorry, Charlie, but I don'tallow ads in my newspaper.
We've heard all about that,
so we thoughtyou could just do some...
news storiesabout car insurance.
Just state the facts
because the truth is everyonecan save by switching to GEICO.
That's called"sponsored content."
I know the differencebetween the news and ads.
You think I'm stupid?
Everyone's doing it, Jim.
You're sort ofthe last holdout.
$26 millionjust to write some news stories
that get people thinking abouttheir insurance coverage?
S-S-S-Stick it up your ass.
Well, they saidyou'd be tough.
Do you really thinkyou can stop ads?
You can try to block ads,but they get smarter.
The more we tryto shut them out,
the more clever they get.
There's a war coming, kid,
and I'm gonna make sureI'm on the right side of it.
[ Gunshot ]
Come with meif you want to live!
Come on! Come with meif you want to live!
Your little meetingsyou go to at night
to discusssocial justice --
It's just a wayto pick up on young women?!
Sharon, most of the guysin my PC club
are right out of college,all right?
You knowhow college kids are.
Who wrote this?
I don't want yougoing over there anymore.
I don't cheat on you,Sharon.
Look at what's happenedto our town.
We have ShiTpaTown,
boutique restaurants,and artisan shops.
We have a [bleep] Whole Foods,and that was all me!
Diverse peopleare moving here.
Everyone's being awareof how they talk.
This is paradise,Sharon!
All I knowis that you've changed.
Ever since you joinedthis PC thing,
you just bully people
and wait for peopleto say anything improper
so that you can jumpdown their throats
for whatever wordshe or she used.
"He or she" is an agenderphobicmicroaggression, Sharon.
You are a bigot.
The average human can no longertell the difference
between the news and an ad.
You seem to havesome mental ability
that allows you to knowthe difference.
Does this have to do with mecalling the school principal
a pussy crusher?
The PC people are simplybeing manipulated,
unwittingly setting the tablefor the new enemy of humanity.
You mean ISIS or ninjas?
Something much worse.
Have you ever felt likean ad had...intelligence?
That it somehow knewwhat you wanted
even before you knewyou wanted it?
What ifI were to tell you
that ads have becomesmarter than us
and now they're manipulatingeverything we do?
I'd say that soundspretty retarded.
It was our own fault.
Mankind became tired of ads,
so we kept inventing waysto make things ad-free.
We even created ad blockers.
That's when the adshad to adapt.
They had to disguise themselvesas news in order to survive.
If you really can tellthe difference,
then you could be the keyto saving our species, Jimmy.
We'd like to run a test on you.
Test 17-B. Ready.
[ Projector whirring ]
JIMMY: That's the news.
That's an ad.
That's the news.
That's an ad.
That's the news.That's an ad. That's an ad.
That's the ne-- Oh, wait.That's an ad for cat food.
Jesus Christ.He's off the charts.
Increase the intensity.
That's the news.That's an ad.
News. Ad. Ad. Ad.
Ad. Ad. News. News.Ad. Ad. Slide show. Ad.
[ Whirring stops ]
[ Clicks, whirs ]
That's a perfect score.
You are a very special child,Jimmy.
I prefer "handicapped,"actually.
We have another child herewho is special, too.
Do you know Leslie?
[ Dramatic music plays ]
You look familiar.Don't you go to my school?
Yes. Uh, I'm Jimmy,
Editor in Chiefof Super School News.
Nice to finally talkto you.
Did they bring you in and giveyou a bunch of tests, too?
Yes, the did.Do you know who they are?
I think they're ex-newsmen --
you know, the men in suits
who used to be in charge of the news.
I thought I recognized them.
They told me I was special.
Are you special, too?
I prefer handicapped.
[ Chuckles ] I like that.
if everything you've saidis true,
then why doesn't anyoneknow about it?
There are peoplewho know,
but they have to stayvery hidden.
I'm just having a hard timeswallowing all this.
And between meand this one over here,
we can swallowjust about anything.
[ Chuckles ]God, you're such an asshole.
Mr. Garrison,I wasn't fired.
I was replaced.
This goes much higherthan anyone knows.
I came to this town
really thinking I could makea difference.
I've been called a bigot towardspersons with disabilities.
I've been calleda...pussy crusher
because of the behavior
of a very few individualsin my PC frat.
Jimmy Valmeris off the school newspaper.
I want you to take over.
And I will be reviewingyour paper to make sure
nobody is ever attackedthe way I was again.
I think this will bethe beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
Jimmy almost made melose confidence,
but I know who I am.
I know what I am.
MAN: Dude! Bro!
I went onlineto read a news story
about immigrantsbeing discriminated against.
Yeah.Well, and so I clickedon the headline,
but it turned outto be an ad for Reddi-wip,
so then I clickedon the "X" buttonto make it go away,
but then it was a linkto another ad,
and when I triedto cancel that,
another window came up,and it was this.
Dude,what the [bleep] bro?
What does this mean,dude?!
Bro,what the [bleep] bro?!
Uh, yes, Leslie. I like our school very much.
I like our school, too.
I like the kidswho go there.
I'm starting to wonder somethingabout you, Leslie.
I'm starting to wonder about you.
I mean, you seem likea nice kid,
but don't you feellike you could be happier?
Can you excuse mefor a moment?
Well, Jimmy?What do you think?
Does she knowshe's an ad?
He can spot them.
Does she kn-knowshe's an ad?!
What the hellis going on, bro?
Bro, what the hellis going on, bro?!
If we're going back,remember --
We don't knowwho we can trust.
If they want to messwith my town,
I'll [bleep] every lastone of them.
Let's do this!
[ Engine turns over ]Buckle up, buckaroos!
[ Tires squeal ]
[ People screaming ]
Jimmy’s integrity as a newsman runs smack into PC Principal’s ideology.